How To Find Love And Not A Psycho
A forensic psychologist's guide to identifying healthy relationships, avoiding toxic partners, and building lasting love based on 30 years of professional expertise.
4.3/5 from 1,200+ readers
What You'll Learn
Evidence-based strategies to navigate the complex world of modern dating and build healthy, lasting relationships.
Spot the Red Flags
Learn to recognise narcissistic red flags, emotional manipulation tactics, and toxic behaviour patterns before you get emotionally invested. Dr. Watts reveals the psychological warning signs that help you spot personality disorders and high-conflict individuals early in dating.
Navigate Modern Dating
Navigate online dating safety, decode mixed signals on dating apps, and understand how modern relationship challenges like social media and hookup culture impact finding genuine connections. Master the psychology behind contemporary dating dynamics and digital red flags
Build Healthy Bonds
Discover evidence-based strategies for identifying healthy relationship signs and assessing relationship compatibility factors beyond surface attraction. Learn how shared values, emotional intelligence, and attachment styles create the foundation for lasting love
Master Communication
Develop essential relationship communication skills and conflict resolution techniques that strengthen bonds rather than damage them. Understand how to build trust in relationships through consistent actions, emotional availability, and healthy boundaries.
Understand Attachment
Master the psychological principles of emotional intimacy, learn effective communication patterns that prevent relationship breakdown, and build secure attachment through vulnerability and consistent trust-building behaviors.
Create Safe Exit Strategies
Follow a forensic psychologist's step-by-step guide for safely leaving toxic relationships, including strategies for dealing with emotional manipulation, creating safety plans, and protecting yourself from potential escalation during breakups.
What Our Readers Say
Discover what readers and experts alike think
"A must read for anyone who will enter a romantic relationship (so, virtually everyone!). This incisive and evidence-based book provides clear advice on how to spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing so as to avoid miserable and dangerous relationships. The messages Dr Phil imparts will allow readers to find true love that is positive and fulfilling, while giving hope to those who have been hurt by former partners."
Dr Lorraine Sheridan
International Expert on Stalking and Interpersonal Violence
"Wouldn’t it be handy if, at birth, we were given guidebooks or manuals for the important areas of our lives? Sadly, we aren’t. We muddle through life and particularly relationships, without really understanding better ways to ‘fall in love’. If you want to avoid ‘psychos’ and create better relationships, then read this book. It is the tool kit you should have been given"
Meg Waters
Clinical Psychologist and Person who has Fallen in Love
"We teach sex education. Is it not time to teach love education? We now have the textbook. Really easy to read and not preachy. It also feels truthful but is not sugar coated"
Andrew Ewing
Lecturer, musician/filmmaker, husband and father
Meet Dr. Phil Watts
Forensic Psychologist • 30+ Years Experience
Dr. Phil Watts is a renowned forensic psychologist with over three decades of experience in understanding human behaviour, particularly in the context of relationships and personality disorders.
His extensive professional expertise includes working with individuals in the family court system who have experienced toxic relationships, helping them understand the warning signs and develop healthier relationship patterns.
The insights in this book are drawn from Dr. Watts' comprehensive studies and real-world experience helping countless individuals navigate the complex landscape of modern relationships.
How to Find Love: The Blog
Stay up to date with the latest relationship know-how with our blog
Your Questions Answered
Dr. Phil Watts addresses the most common questions about relationships, red flags, and building lasting love based on forensic psychology research.
How do you spot a narcissist early in dating?
Dr. Watts identifies several critical warning signs including: love bombing (excessive attention early on), inconsistent behavior patterns, boundary violations, controlling tendencies, lack of empathy, and refusing to take responsibility for actions. The book provides a comprehensive checklist backed by 30 years of forensic psychology research to help you identify these patterns before emotional investment deepens.
What are the first signs of an abusive relationship?
How long should you wait before introducing someone to your children?
What's the difference between love bombing and genuine interest?
How can I safely leave a toxic relationship?
The book outlines a step-by-step safety plan including: documenting concerning behaviors, building a support network, securing financial independence, creating an exit strategy, understanding legal protections, and managing post-separation risks. Dr. Watts draws from family court cases to provide practical, evidence-based strategies for protecting yourself during and after a breakup.
Don't Let Another Day Pass
Get the tools you need to find and build lasting, healthy relationships. Start your journey to finding real love today.